The Flake, The Liar and the One who Thought he had it like that

Three different men.
Two different days.
One thing in common.

So, I’ve been in New York for a little over a month now. I’ve learned a few things, gone a few places and spent no money on shoes (sad face). Today, we’re talking about what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that Saturday nights make me sad because on my way home from work, I walk by many bars and restaurants where people are out with their significant other or their buddies…and I’m not out doing the same things; I’m walking home, alone. I’ve also learned that no matter how much I think that all this walking is working off all the unhealthy food I eat, it’s not…so Amy will start working out THIS WEEK. I’ve learned a lot more, but, I’m gonna get to the point of this blog now.

I’ve been on three dates since I’ve been here…three…and this is the impression I’ve gotten: NY men are douchebags. Well, being the girl I am, I’m gonna add a “so far” in there.

Date numero uno: The Flake. We met the first weekend I was here, at a club, in classic “Amy style.” But we didn’t actually go on a date until a month after I was here…why is that? Well we made plans for the Tuesday after I met him, but he never called to tell me what we were doing or what time. Then he apologized through text saying he was really, really sick and that we should plan on going out the next week. Then, no phone call again. When I text him, “you must be sick again.” He replies with, “no, it’s my week of rest.” (he’s Jewish apparently). Then we finally talk on the phone a week later and he asks me out to lunch the next day. But, then…I get a text saying he has a meeting to go to so we need to schedule it for the day after instead. So, surprise surprise when he calls to say he’s going to be over an hour late to lunch. For those of you that know me, you know I hate flakes…therefore, no matter how good the date was, I was only there for the free food.

Date numero dos: The Liar. We met at work. Another way that has been proven unworthy of an actual relationship… He was funny, he was sweet, he dresses the way I like, he talks the way I talk, he gets me, I get him. We talk for a good five hours….I’m barely working and so is he. We’re clicking…or so I thought. I get home from work and am going over the details with my roommate who I curse for never mentioning this man to me, when she says, “wait, what’s his name??” And then her mouth drops when she hears my reply. “Umm…Amy, he’s married.” No way! Not after all the clicking!! So, the next day, just like he says he will, he comes to visit me at work. I talked to him a little, but all I wanted to say was “why didn’t you tell me you were married?” (we talked about how we were single and our dating styles). And then, he came in the next day too. This time, he so casually asked me to go to the movies…or he invited himself along with me cause I had mentioned I don’t go alone…something like that. I immediately called my roommate and told her that she MUST come with us so she can say something about the “married” thing. And so, I surprised him with my roommate and her husband who he has talked to about his wife on many occasions to. It was very delightfully awkward. Then, my roommate asked him, “what’s going on?” He replies, “Oh, just hanging out with her.” And points to me. Oh how satisfying it is to capture someone in a lie! Then after the movie, I start to feel bad. Like, maybe I shouldn’t have done that because he told the roomies that it had been over for a while. I start to understand that, maybe he didn’t want to talk to someone he had only known for 5 hours about his issues. I understand…but a lie is a lie.

Date numero tres: the one who thought he had it like that. This date was accidental. This date happened on the same day as date number one. This date was hilarious and very entertaining. Here’s how it happened: I’m at the Baitshack, I’m working, it’s late, I’m hanging out with the bouncer when I feel someone staring at me. So I search the crowd and find him. He’s sitting at the bar and has a killer smile and eyes that say “daaaaaaaamn!” So I smile and go along with my job. But I keep catching his eye all night. I was so focused on the eyes that I didn’t even notice the girl he was talking to while he was looking at me. So immediately, I go over to my bouncer, Sam, and tell him about this. They guy (Justin) sees that we are obviously talking about him and comes up to me. He says, “What are you guys talking about?” I say, “I was just telling him about how much of a douchebag you are because you have been looking at me all night and you are obviously with that girl.” “Oh she’s just a friend. We came here to get a drink.” “Oh ok.” I say, with a smile. Then I observe. I observe, her all over him and him doing nothing to stop her. Then as he’s walking her out, he says, “I’ll be back in 5 to talk to you.” Wow! Men have some nerve. So I decided to mess with him. I stayed, I had a drink with him, flirted maliciously, made him think he’s gonna get something out of this, let him pay for my cab home, and then I didn’t give him my number or even a handshake goodbye. He just thought he had it like that.

So, needless to say, my impression of New York men, is not so good. But, if you all know me well enough, you know that I could care less. I’m always the optimistic one. Well, until the New York cynicism hits me, I suppose. We will see if it has any long term effects. For now, all I have to say is, “NEXT!”