According to this article I found in New York Magazine, (http://nymag.com/news/features/56013/), its almost borderline-insane to move to New York right now. Yet people are still picking up and moving. Like myself. But why are all of us coming to the city? With all the closed-down stores I walk by, with all the competition in the job market, I am asking myself the same thing. Everyone I meet is asking me why I moved here. My answer is almost always a quick answer that leaves little room for questions, "Just to have the experience." And each time I answer with a smile, I'm wondering, "What is the real reason?"
I heard someone say to a girl, "Lemme ask you something...what are you running from?" And I thought to myself, "Could I be running?" Before I left California, I asked myself this question over and over, because I didn't want that to be the reason I left. And, I keep coming back to it; doubting my motive, again and again.
I've gone back and forth on the career path I am meant to take. I didn't come here for love like so many others. I don't have dreams of Broadway, Juilliard or the runway. Does a passion for fashion translate into a career? And, if it does, how does it?
So am I running? Maybe I am.
I would like to think I’m running toward something and not away from it. I’ve been really trying to focus on work and making a career for myself here. I’ve spent almost every day either walking around or on the internet looking at things. Everything is pointing toward the fashion industry. There are so many more options here for the fashion world and although I doubt my ability all the time, I truly feel like that’s the world I’ll be happy in.
So, I’m at the beginning of my marathon and the New York pavement has been hard on my shoes…but, I’m gonna keep on running…hopefully this path takes me down Fifth Avenue.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
the first week
It takes a certain person to come to a city where theres over 8 million people, where the buildings provide a despised shelter from the sun and stars, where the subways, sidewalks, and cabs dictate where you go and when. So, it might be shocking that a small town girl would leave the sunsets, the stars and the beaches of Orange County and come to New York City in hopes of starting over and finding herself and a life that fits.
It still hasn't really hit me that I live here. I feel like I'm on vacation. I still feel like my friends are just a 20 minute drive away and that when I want to hang out, we can. I still feel excited that summer is coming and the beach is waiting for me. Maybe its cause I haven't really started working...maybe it's cause I don't have a bed yet...and maybe it's cause I haven't had a chance to make it my home yet cause I'm too busy running around trying not to get lost.
On the plane ride here, I felt happy and I felt at ease. Usually on the plane, I'm freaking out cause I hate flying. The only time I felt sad about leaving was when Hau dropped me off. It was the first time I really cried cause I realized that I was leaving my life and friendships with people I love and that neither would ever be the same again.
For the first couple of days, Kathy and Belinda were here so it really felt like a vacation. All we did was shop, eat and sleep. Thank goodness for good friends. I think the move would have been so much more shocking to me without them here.
The rest of the week, I spent most of the time searching for the perfect furniture for my new apartment and running around trying to find my way through the concrete jungle. My room is a little smaller than my last one, and although I have a closet, there's no way I can fit all my clothes and shoes in it. So, I have to flex my organization muscles and really do some thinking about furniture and storage...something I've never had to do. It's harder than you think, especially with a budget and 5 flights of stairs to climb with each new piece. And...IKEA is a cab and ferry ride away with a delivery charge that doubles the price of most items they carry. Needless to say, its been grueling.
The shopping is amazing. The other day, I was walking down Madison and saw my favorite shoe stores; Cesare Paciotti, Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin, Guiseppe Zanotti, and Prada...one after another, there they were and I was smitten...I could not take the smile off my face for at least 6 blocks. I actually walked into Cesare Paciotti and was so happy that I talked to the sales girl about how much I loved these shoes and how excited I was to find the store just blocks from my apartment. I must of sounded like a crazy person. But, just flip through a fashion magazine and look at the ads for these shoes. They are bold, edgy, and seductive...everything I look for in a shoe. They are amazing. But, I must stay away from Madison...for that reason. Sadly. Also. sad is the fact that there's no Nordstrom here. But, Henri Bendel will suffice.
The city itself is amazing. There's something so carefree about it that I can't get over. Everyone minds their own business. I saw this old asian guy with a mohawk, bright green tights, and a leather jacket walking down 5th Ave. (5th Ave is the equivelent to Rodeo Drive in NY). Now, on Rodeo Drive...what do you think would have happened? Everyone would stare, point, laugh and talk shit about this person. But, not in New York! No one even looked twice, no one laughed, no one pointed. I think I was the only one who was actually shocked...and thats cause I'm from CA. Also, you know how in movies, you see people walking down the street singing and someone yells, "Shut the fuck up!!?" Yeah, that is reality. I've heard it twice now. And, most people are not as rude as they are made out to be. Sure you come across people that are grumpy and rude, but I think it's actually nice to not have some fake ass clerk at the grocery store acting like they care and calling me, Ms. Gates.
It's so exciting that I get to live among the openminded and carefree people of New York City.
Life here is so random and full of surprises. I think I can give up the sunsets and stars for life among the New Yorkers. There's always visits to CA to make up for the loss. I can't wait to see what happens!
It still hasn't really hit me that I live here. I feel like I'm on vacation. I still feel like my friends are just a 20 minute drive away and that when I want to hang out, we can. I still feel excited that summer is coming and the beach is waiting for me. Maybe its cause I haven't really started working...maybe it's cause I don't have a bed yet...and maybe it's cause I haven't had a chance to make it my home yet cause I'm too busy running around trying not to get lost.
On the plane ride here, I felt happy and I felt at ease. Usually on the plane, I'm freaking out cause I hate flying. The only time I felt sad about leaving was when Hau dropped me off. It was the first time I really cried cause I realized that I was leaving my life and friendships with people I love and that neither would ever be the same again.
For the first couple of days, Kathy and Belinda were here so it really felt like a vacation. All we did was shop, eat and sleep. Thank goodness for good friends. I think the move would have been so much more shocking to me without them here.
The rest of the week, I spent most of the time searching for the perfect furniture for my new apartment and running around trying to find my way through the concrete jungle. My room is a little smaller than my last one, and although I have a closet, there's no way I can fit all my clothes and shoes in it. So, I have to flex my organization muscles and really do some thinking about furniture and storage...something I've never had to do. It's harder than you think, especially with a budget and 5 flights of stairs to climb with each new piece. And...IKEA is a cab and ferry ride away with a delivery charge that doubles the price of most items they carry. Needless to say, its been grueling.
The shopping is amazing. The other day, I was walking down Madison and saw my favorite shoe stores; Cesare Paciotti, Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin, Guiseppe Zanotti, and Prada...one after another, there they were and I was smitten...I could not take the smile off my face for at least 6 blocks. I actually walked into Cesare Paciotti and was so happy that I talked to the sales girl about how much I loved these shoes and how excited I was to find the store just blocks from my apartment. I must of sounded like a crazy person. But, just flip through a fashion magazine and look at the ads for these shoes. They are bold, edgy, and seductive...everything I look for in a shoe. They are amazing. But, I must stay away from Madison...for that reason. Sadly. Also. sad is the fact that there's no Nordstrom here. But, Henri Bendel will suffice.
The city itself is amazing. There's something so carefree about it that I can't get over. Everyone minds their own business. I saw this old asian guy with a mohawk, bright green tights, and a leather jacket walking down 5th Ave. (5th Ave is the equivelent to Rodeo Drive in NY). Now, on Rodeo Drive...what do you think would have happened? Everyone would stare, point, laugh and talk shit about this person. But, not in New York! No one even looked twice, no one laughed, no one pointed. I think I was the only one who was actually shocked...and thats cause I'm from CA. Also, you know how in movies, you see people walking down the street singing and someone yells, "Shut the fuck up!!?" Yeah, that is reality. I've heard it twice now. And, most people are not as rude as they are made out to be. Sure you come across people that are grumpy and rude, but I think it's actually nice to not have some fake ass clerk at the grocery store acting like they care and calling me, Ms. Gates.
It's so exciting that I get to live among the openminded and carefree people of New York City.
Life here is so random and full of surprises. I think I can give up the sunsets and stars for life among the New Yorkers. There's always visits to CA to make up for the loss. I can't wait to see what happens!
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