Here We Go Again

On the eve of my faux-25th birthday, I sit here and contemplate the next steps I should/need/want/dread to take to make my life.

I should be looking for a job that will undoubtedly take me to the next step in my so-called career path. At this ripe old age, I could be so much more. By trying to not dwell on that, and only going over it in my head a few hundred times a day in the last week, I have accomplished nothing but disappointment. A promising internship with one of the most prestigious and well-known publishing companies is out of my reach and only because I am not currently enrolled in college and earning college credit for it. Just my luck. It’s all about who you know and who knows you…unless you have already graduated. Unless…

I need to do ALL my laundry. I have officially run out of clean towels and sheets. And, with a good friend sleeping in my bed and using my shower for the next week, I should clean them for her…if not for myself. I really don’t want to. I just want to be lazy. And I want to keep the reminders of why my sheets and towels are all dirty. After all, memories are all I have most of the time. And they are all good I must say. For the rest of my clothes, I could really care less. I have enough clothes to last me a month and a half without wearing the same thing twice. ….Ahhh, Retail therapy is the best kind. And, I still believe it’s cheaper than paying to tell a complete stranger your thoughts...and there’s always that young girl helping you out in the fitting room who wants to hear all your drama, or at least she acts like it.

I want to just sit here and sip my over-rated grande extra hot vanilla soy latte from Starbucks and watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 days for the hundredth time. What is it about this movie that makes me want to watch it over and over like I did with Lion King and The Little Mermaid when I was younger? There are no songs to sing along to or monkeys and hyenas to laugh at….just Mathew Mcconaughey and Kate Hudson in the typical romantic comedy script and New York setting. It’s all fairytale. Maybe that’s what I like about it. The thing they have in common is losing something and then longing for it and then going after it. I guess that’s the story of my life. I wonder what my movie would be called. “Here We Go Again.”

I dread the thought of the last five hour work day before my week vacation in the smell of puke, Jack Daniels and BBQ sauce. I find when I get home now that I smell like marinated pork products and nachos with baked beans. It’s a feeling that I haven’t had since I worked at the local pizza place during my last year at River Valley High. The smell of food in your hair, all over your body, in your pores…its unappetizing and makes me feel like taking a scalding hot shower in the middle of the summer. And in my bathroom, with no vents or fans…that is just asking to die of heat exhaustion. But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

But, all of these things will happen today….undoubtedly. Well except for actually watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It will just play in the background as I fold my clothes and prepare for the arrival of one of my favorite friends. Happy Birthday to me.